Numb!
by Angelwinchester
Summary: Dean has issues, and Sam has sollutions. Mentions of rape.


Disclaimer: Not mine, and mentions of rape. I was stuck in fluff mode and had to get out. REVIEW please… and read on!

He felt numb, he didn't feel much anymore. He has only been back on earth for a little more then a month and the only thing that kept him alive was Sam, Sam who was sitting there looking at him like he was going to leave. Wasn't that his job, wasn't he supposed to sit around worrying about Sam leaving him when he needed him most. A lot changed when he sold his soul to save Sam. A lot.

It wasn't supposed to turn out like this, he wasn't supposed to have regrets, and he wasn't supposed to still be in love with his brother. They all knew, the demons all teased him while he was there, they told him how much he belonged there longing after his brother the way he did. The spat in his face and forced there hot cock's in his ass as they teased him about Sam. HE couldn't tell Sam that though, and that's what Sam's doing right now, asking about what Dean remembered from being there, and he just can't tell him.

He wished he could let Sam know he was okay, he wished he could tell Sam that nothing has changed, but the truth of the matter is everything has changed. Dean's scared to Death and Dean's never been scared of anything in his life. But now he has to tell his brother the truth, if he doesn't then that damned angel will and he didn't want anyone else telling Sam of his sickness. If Sam was going to hate him then Sam would hate him for something that Dean did, not for something that someone else did.

So that was it, he took Sam's hands into his own and looked in those dark eyes and smiled. "Sammy, I love you. I thought that I could get past it, and I thought that after going away that these feelings would go away to, the truth is I think I love you more now then I did before I left. You never gave up on me Sammy, and I gave up on me. You deserve so much more then me and I'm sorry that I did that to you, I am sorry that I left you, and I'm sorry that you hate me now, and I'm even sorry that I can't tell you everything, but I am not sorry that I love you, and please don't tell me I have to be. That is the only reason that I am standing here today, and that can't be a bad thing, I just can't let it be."

Sam did the only thing that his brain would let him do at this point. He stuck his finger under Dean's chin and lifted it up to meet his lips. He gave Dean a slow soft kiss and then pulled away and smacked the shit out of him. "You fucking idiot! I have fucking loved you for years Dean, like really how the hell didn't you realize it, I didn't just try and save you because you were my brother, which was a great part of it, but because your my everything Dean. We are fucked up, we always have been and we always will be. So what, we add something else to the list, I will tell the fucking world, I AM IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER!. There are you happy, just don't every fucking leave me again you ass." He grabbed Dean and pulled him into a hug and then started kissing the hell out of him.

Dean's head was spinning, he just got handed everything he always wanted, everything he never thought that he would get. Sam just made him the happiest man on earth and he would spend the rest of his life making sure that Sam knew how much he loved him. He would share his fucking feeling and make sure he told Sam everyday how much he meant to him. He wouldn't and he couldn't fuck this up. This was way to important to fuck up, he wouldn't let that happen. "I love you Sammy, I love you so much."

"I love you too Dean, I just wish you would trust me with what happened to you. I won't push, just when you want to, tell me. I want to help however I can baby."

"I will tell you one day Sammy, just not now, not when I finally got you."

"You will always have me Dean, no matter what happened to you, you will always have me. You have to know that, if I have to beat it into you, you will know that."

Dean let the tears fall, and pushed his face into Sam's shoulder. Sam let his brother fall apart; Sam let Dean need him for once. He knew this day was coming, he knew that Dean was holding onto to much, and he knew that Dean was going to have to let it out. Now was the time, now was the time that Dean needed him and he wasn't going to fuck it up. Dean looked up at his new lover with tear filled eyes and let it out. "They used you against me Sammy, they told me I was disgusting, and immoral, and that I deserved the punishment that had for me." He let it go at that and Sam knew that meant those stupid mother fuckers rapped his brother, they touched what was his, and he would Kill every last one of those stupid mother fuckers if it was the last thing that he every did.

Dean saw the hate in his brother's eyes, he saw and he flinched. "No Dean, no. I don't hate you. They will all die. No one, I repeat, No one touches what's mine and lives to tell about it. NO ONE!.


End file.
